Wednesday, December 16, 2009

To be or not to be. . .

Or. . . the pros and cons of being single.
This time of year is a bit difficult because the sun is much farther south and so I suffer through a lack of light and I get lonely.
In every single relationship I've been in, there have been more cons than pros and so I've generated a list of what I do not want in a relationship. It is longer than what I do want and so I had come to the conclusion that being single is a hell of a lot easier.
Or so I thought.
Pros:
I have all the personal space and time I want, (minus the cats.) Chris, the co-dependant and Tracy and Lisa, the jealous types.
I don't have to keep my home white-glove spotless, just sanitary. Stephenie, the snob.
I don't have to tell where I'm going or how long I'll be gone. Lisa, Stephanie and Tracy, the jealous types.
I can spend time with friends without worrying about the jealous trip. Lisa, Stephenie and Tracy.
I do my own laundry. Stephenie, the snob.
I keep comfortably odd hours. Very, very odd hours. Tracy and Stephenie, the control freaks.
I watch the shows I like. Tracy, the idiot who doesn't understand Brittish humour.
I can eat what I want when I want. Tracy, the materialist control freak.
I don't have to deal with negative attitudes about everything. Tracy, the drenched wet blanket.
I am the only insecure person here. Stephenie, Tracy, Lisa. . .
I'm not self-conscious about having false teeth or hairy legs. Stephenie, the snob.
I don't have to change any aspect of myself just so the other person will shut up about what ever it is they want me to change. Stephenie and Tracy, the snob and the control freak.
I don't have to celebrate the holiday I hate most: Valantine's Day. (Icky poo mush, mush.) Tracy, the pathetic romantic who thinks that a chair full of useless gifts are the way to a person's heart.
And last but certainly the most important, I can work on my Writing Project without someone getting in its way and then getting jealous over it. Creativity keeps me sane, and every person I'd been with has always, always tried to pull me away from it. Each and every one of them. . .
Now, for the cons:
There is no one to come home to.
There is no one to be held by while watching a show.
There is no one to cook for.
There is no one to keep me sane after a bad day at work.
There is no one to look up to.
There is no one to share my creativity with.
And so, again, I have come to the conclusion that being single is best for me because there is no one out there who can or would even want to put up with me.
It's going to be a long winter.

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